Witness #1: Well, it all began back in ‘09 when they first met in prison.
Witness #2: Once we left that day, which I can still remember clearly – it was a rather special day – we began making plans.
Witness #3: We first met up at that aquatic-themed restaurant across the street from Pitta Pan, called Frying Nemo.
Witness #1: I always knew they were planning something, but since it took ten whole years I had kind of forgotten about it.
Witness #2: On the night of, I think we both knew exactly how it was really going to go down.
Witness #3: We grabbed some seats outside under those umbrella-tables, and I asked the waiter for some cold H2O, because believe it or not rebranding water actually does make it taste better.
Witness #2: When the waiter asked me what I wanted, I just said H2O too.
Witness #1: What? No, how are you the one interrogating me? Why would a waiter ever do that?
Witness #3: When the waiter came back out with the rebranded water, and sandwiches, I had ordered the day before, we both bowed our heads, but our thoughts were scattered.
Witness #2: I was first genuinely surprised when I started choking on the sandwich, even though I said I knew it was going to happen I didn’t think he was going to do it like that.
Witness #3: But she eventually coughed it out like a projectile right into the palms of my hands, as I got down to propose.
Witness #2: And I obv-
Witness #1: Who did it? Dave did. Why wasn’t that your first question?
Witness #2: Describe him? Well, he was wearing this long gothic trench coat.
Witness #3: He also had a scar running across his left cheek and eye.
Witness #2: Of course we knew him before this, if not for him we never would’ve met all those years back in the prison.
Witness #3: So that’s why I invited him to come and maybe get a few photos for our grandchildren, but I never thought he’d actually do what he did.
Witness #1: It’s my fault though. If not for my *sniffle* he never would’ve done it.
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